What I learned during my years as a Bar Mitzvah teacher

I worked as a Bar Mitzvah teacher for around six years, and even dabbled with it in my early 30s after I gave up the job full-time. In fact, you can say I’m still a Bar Mitvzah teacher, it’s just that I don’t have any students nor am I seeking to get back into that life. But in the time spent teaching kids about this holy ritual meant to signify their grown-up maturation, I learned more in this job than in any role I had in my 20s.

For those unaware, a Bar and Bat Mitzah teacher instructs young Jewish kids, at 12 years old, how to read from the Torah. It’s a rite of passage for Jewish kids, and it often involves learning Hebrew and singing the tune that accompanies the parsha or portion for the week of that Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

I learned a lot about myself when I dove into this job at 19. Below are some realizations that might ring true for you, especially if you teach:

• Working with kids is awesome. They’re curious about the world, interested in impressing teachers, and can be damn funny and cute. I loved seeing a student’s face light up when I spoke about the parsha’s philosophical meanings, or explained the background of a certain Biblical character .I could tell I was giving them something their daytime school wasn’t offering, even if they went to Jewish school. Granted, I only had students for 30 minutes a week each, so I never faced that barrage of kid-heavy chaos that comes from corraling a classroom. Which leads me to my next point…
• The one-on-one experience is special. I never had a tutor in school, beyond my Dad teaching me my Bar Mitzvah portion, but I wonder how I would’ve regarded schooling differently if I did get one-on-one attention. When I worked with Bar Mitzvah students, there was a camaraderie that came with the focused education of working closely with each other that brought out the best in my students. And I could tell they felt comfortable talking to me, away from the judging eyes and ears of their peers.
• The art of being firm and gentle. As in, firm with what I expected from the students every week but gentle in how I projected that expectation. I’m not a fan of being a drill seargant as a teacher, and I always prefer to learn from others who take a more considerate approach to instruction. I remember being compassionate to a student’s situation: more school AFTER school? Ugh! And so I learned to illustrate what I wanted from them every week, but also not being too harsh on them if they messed up a tune or a Hebrew word. Learning Bar Mitzvah stuff is difficult, even if you were raised in a religious home, and especially if you’re deadly shy. What’s the point of scaring kids into submission? Maybe that’s why my students tended to confide in me about things, like their fave video games or which girl they liked liked.
• The joy of being my own boss. While I was associated with a synagogue for awhile, I also freelanced as a teacher and this is where I got my first taste of the work-from-home life. And it was glorious. I soon realized I had a penchant for being a self-started and motivating my will to get shit done, no matter my energy levels. I can see how freelancing as a teacher inspired my decision last year to go full-time freelance: being able to do what I want, and earning that satisfaction of securing my own clients, is lovely feeling that stays with me from morning to evening.
• I was doing my part for the Jewish faith. I’m not a religious guy, and I definitely don’t stick to every tenet of Judaism, despite being raised in a Conservative Jewish home. I much prefer to contribute to Judaism in my own way. Being a Bar Mitzvah teacher gave me that opportunity to help others in my faith who needed that one-on-one assistance. Sure, I was getting paid, but it wasn’t really about the money. It was about being a freelancer, learning from kids, having fun at work, and doing what I could to give fellow Jews a smooth path to the biggest event of their young life. Maybe I affected these students long after the final melody was memorized, maybe not. But I think they enjoyed their time with me, and I definitely learned a lot about myself in a job stint I never really thought I’d get into in the first palce.